Life can be a challenge. Especially when it feels like you’re being kicked into the mud, then trampled upon, and then spat upon just for good measure. That’s the way it’s been around here lately. Family life itself has been fine more or less. About the worst that happens there is David’s temper. He gets so angry, but I think the majority of it is due to the fact that he doesn’t talk well. He is difficult to understand even when he says something that sounds like words. And he still gets picked on, being the little brother. All this ends up resulting in a volcanic eruption of temper every hour or so EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. But children squabbling aside there is still laughter, still smiles, and in general everyone is happy there.
But then comes the bad areas. First there is ex drama. Whether it’s the kids getting attitude or the ex starting drama, there is almost always tension in the house every single evening because of their mother. Then there are the that’s she gives, the misinformation she spreads, and the outright lies she spreads. That’s always fun to deal with the aftermath of that.
Then there’s money. While Shane is actually making decent money we can’t seem to get ahead between stuff breaking down and taking care off the kids. Our car needed repairing, so that was some money for parts. Then Emily broke the window killing a wasp and we had to go get that taken care of. Then there are the non-stop school fees that Emily and Matthew have at school. Did I mention how much I loathe public school? I will be glad when the custody situation is resolved and we can just homeschool them. Which is another place our money is disappearing to – lawyer fees. Plus the absurdly high utility bills due to the poorly maintained trailer we live in. Our electricity bill was more than our rent and that’s more than a little crazy. We are looking into ways to resolve this situation but only time will tell what the outcome will be.
Then there is the issue of our rental trailer itself. It’s very rundown. It’s almost uninhabitable. The air conditioning barely works, there are rat goes all over the place, the cheap flooring is getting destroyed on a daily basis simply by walking in it and putting furniture on it, and the pipes are constantly breaking. On top of that, the landlord are the do it yourself sort, which is normally fine, but they seem to out us at a very low priority. We’ve had the air reported as an issue for over two weeks and it has yet to be repaired. They were supposed to come out last weekend but it didn’t happen and they were supposed to come out tonight but it didn’t happen. And then they called on the second to say we were late with rent….never mind that Shane was working on the first and couldn’t get the money to them. Just seems like a contradiction there.
I’m glad we have a place to live and that with effort we can live a decently clean life but I will be so glad when I no longer FEEL like poor white trash. It’s a hard feeling to overcome when you feel blessed at spending a cool day in the house rather than sweating like a stuck pig.
I feel like I’m complaining an awful lot but there are a lot of good times. We joke around at night. We watch Netflix as a family. I love watching my children being adorable. My eldest is doing very well in her homeschooling. And we have made it this far. We are now two months on our own after a year with Shane’s parents. We can feed everyone. We all have beds to sleep in and clean clothes. We can all wash our faces at night and brush our teeth. Even prego me can occasionally treat myself to something special. Life is not bad, even though it is rife with issues. God is there. He is always there helping me out of the muck in which I keep finding myself. He keeps me focused on the positive when I might otherwise descend into derision and self loathing. So no matter what – life is good. Life is awesome in fact.